Sicknight.com guest writer
In the early 20th century, thousand of immigrants flooded Ellis Island, all being handed small amounts of Jello, as to say, “Welcome to America!” Fast forward nearly 90 years and you may witness many descendents of those immigrants flooding houses throughout suburbia and college towns, being handed small amounts of alcoholic Jello, as to say, “Welcome to the Party!” History has shown the amazing truth that something so simplistic, so delicate, can solidify a f***ing killer party.
Both a curse and blessing, there are people in this world of ours that do not feel an instant euphoria from the fiery sting of that which is the taste of alcohol. Such a shame that the vagina grows on more than just the female population… However, these people give many of us with a stronger stomach, higher intelligence, and larger testicles, inspiration to channel our creativity into conjuring up ways to mask the taste of alcohol, one of my favorites being the Jello Shot.
Now, you can make just about any one of your favorite drinks into a tasty, scrumptious Jello Shot, anything from a dark beer to a mojito, so don’t be swayed by the initial premise that Jello Shots are for pansies, as they can satisfy the most hardcore of drinkers. They are just typically more popular with the younger, less experienced crowd. The Jello Shot, in my own opinion, is the icing on the beer and hard liquor birthday cake, everyone loves it, and many try sneaking a taste before everyone else.
The best way to approach choosing what kind of Jello Shot to use is to decide which would be best to benefit whatever party theme you may be aiming for. Champagne Jello Shots would be killer for a graduation party, and Pina Colada Jello Shots are ideal for a tropical beach party. Use that little brain of yours to decide what kind of Jello would really set the mood for the theme. Anyone can bring beer or liquor to a BYOB party, but bringing Jello Shots for everyone really makes you stand out as it shows that you actually took the time to prepare a more interesting way to get wasted.
My first experience with Jello Shots was a glow party at some random girl’s house, where they had made Margarita shots (Lime Jello + Tequila) for everyone, and thus began my love affair. I woke up the next morning covered in glow paint with a mission throbbing in my mind; Make Jello Shots. I returned to the scene the next week for a friend’s “Going Away” Party (he was going to jail,) and I made a batch of lime and Everclear Jello Shots. We made around 15 individual shots and a large Jello mold. I do not recommend using Everclear, which is Pure Grain Alcohol, 190 Proof, you might as well have taken a straight shot of it. They were not tasty at all, and thus did not serve their purpose. There was lots of blood lost that night…
Anyway, the next week I gave it another shot (pun??!). I made rum and coke Jello shots with cherry and strawberry Jello, Coke to replace the water, and Bacardi Rum. I brought a batch of around 30 shots to a friend’s party, where they were consumed in a matter of minutes. Since then I have made many more different batches, with much more quantity, yet even 200 Jello Shots at a small house party does not last very long now.
People love Jello shots. I’m sure it has something to do with nostalgia or some childhood happiness relived, or maybe they’re just f***ing delicious, all I know is that if you roll up to a house party with an ass ton of Jello Shots, you will be king, you will be loved, and you might get laid.
Quick tip: How to make Jello shots
from our how to throw an epic party article:
they are really easy to make. Substitute the cold water in the Jello recipe for vodka or liquor of your choice and refrigerate in those small plastic dixie cup shotglasses. The jello is hard to get out when you’re wasted, so I usually buy a box of toothpicks too.